In Which I Talk About Valentine’s Day

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Why, look, it’s Chocolate Sale At Walgreen’s Eve!

Before I start waxing satirically philosophical and making fun of Valentine’s Day, a disclaimer; I don’t know much about the romantic side of the holiday. And by ‘not much’ I mean absolutely nothing. I’m 13, guys, and all my romantic passion has been poured out upon fictional characters and cats. You have been disclaimed. (I have been disclaimed? What does the verb ”disclaim” modify?  This is way too complicated, please ignore me).

Now, according to Wikipedia (which has the answer to all questions, except the one pertaining to Life, The Universe and Everything, and that’s common knowledge), Valentine’s Day began as the celebration of the feast day of an early saint who was named, of course, Valentine.

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Time wore on, and the rest of the world decided this was an ideal time to sabotage people’s New Year’s resolutions and send the chocolates, plus exacerbate their pollen allergies and send them flowers, all in the name of love. And Bing Crosby produced an album of what I hear is terrible music.

Okay, maybe it wasn’t exactly like that….

Nowadays, Valentine’s Day is great if you’re in a that perfect [read: fairytale/nonexistent] romantic relationship.

There’s a dancer meme that circulates every February that I always snicker at.

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Although it’s partially to make myself feel better about my pathetic singles and very rare doubles. And I stumble out of them a lot. It’s really not pretty.

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Isn’t it horrible?

Otherwise…well, do you like mass-produced flavorless candy with cheesy abbreviated messages and horribly GIMP’d heart shaped images of kittens that disgrace the feline race?

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No? Huh, go figure.

  • 144 million Valentines are manufactured and sold in the U.S. alone, according to Hallmark.
  • According to a National Retail Federation Survey, Americans spent $18.2 billion on Valentine’s paraphernalia in 2017.
  • 3% of pet owners purchase valentines for their pets every year (…don’t ask).
  • And yet, 3 in 10 Americans say they skip Valentine’s Day.

And, of course I hear Valentine’s Day can be downright excruciating if you’re single, so some lovely, caring soul created Single Awareness Day, to be celebrated (wallowed in?) on February 14th.

Yeah, I thought that was somewhere between slightly odd and completely ridiculous.

If you’d rather not celebrate Valentine’s Day, but still want an excuse to celebrate something, not to worry, you have options!

  • National Ferris Wheel Day-But depending on your fear of heights, it might make you just as nauseous as reading a cheesy card.
  • National Library Lovers Day-You can go sit in the library with a book, and maybe even fall in love with another fictional character who will probably break your heart and/or die! (Wait, why was I so cheerful…?) Or give chocolates to your favorite librarian.
  • National Cream-Filled Chocolates Day-need I say anything? Chocolate, guys.

Or wait until the 15th and celebrate Unofficial National Chocolate Sale Day. (One day, it will become official, I’m telling you guys).

So even if you have a terrible 14th, the 15th has discount chocolate, and what’s better than that?

I leave you with that semi-encouraging thought. And a picture of my cat.

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Favorite kind of chocolate? Red or pink?

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Blogger Problems #2

Blogger Problems

Salutations!

Ah, yes, I’m here again with blogger problems, so we can all lament together and be like, I KNOW RIGHT??? Because that’s what we internet people do. Laugh about our quirks and wish we knew each other in real life. And try to pretend that we’re not socially awkward because our entire life consists of ranting online…

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I totally do this when I’m bored, and mentally edit the posts in my head. Anyone else do it?

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Credit goes to Rhi for this one-it’s SO true! They just don’t get the level of commitment involved in blogging, and it’s so disappointing because if they really worked at it, you know they could be amazing.

Any blogger problems suggestions are welcome! If I relate, I’ll make graphics and you, lovely reader, gets a shout-out.

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5 Weird Toys+ Domain Update

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Hey, Peeps! Today I’ve got another roundup post for you-this time, it’s some toys that I think are just utterly tacky/gauche/tasteless-I’ve decided to make this a weekly post series, because I pretty much do them once a week already. 5 Things Friday, anyone?

 

1. L.O.L Surprise Dolls

Apparently the L.O.L stands for ”Li’l Outrageous Littles.” But why are the dolls heads so big? Are they supposed to be babies? Toddlers? If so, why does the one in the picture have a coffee cup? The doll looks overtly made-up and strange-overall almost ugly. Not a tasteful toy, in my opinion.

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2. Slime

I really don’t get why this is such a big deal-it’s squishy and stretchy….and you can make it sparkly. It seems like it’s moment in the spotlight should have lasted about 30 seconds. But no, people are still mixing glue, borax, shaving cream, and goodness-knows-what-else to make this gooey substance. I admit, it was fun for about 5 minutes, and it can be a good science experiment, and stress-reliever, but then? Ok, I’m done. I find slime tacky for a couple of reasons; what kind of person walks around all day with a blob of borax goop? Not someone with any kind of taste or flair.  Also, handing around and playing with slime is a really good way to get the flu, or any other kind of bug that’s going around, because you are basically playing with a ball of germs. Not sanitary, guys.

[for more on disliking slime, check out Bayance’s post here.]

3. FurReal Friends

These things seriously creep me out. Supposedly, they are animatronic ”pets” that make noises and blink and eat or whatever.  However, you stop caring about all that when you are alone in a dark room and you hear a creepy barking sound that makes you jump. That alone would be enough to make me not like them, but they are also overpriced, break easily (my sister bought one, and it broke within a week. By then, however, she had lost interest, because it didn’t move on it’s own like the commercial implied.) and are no replacement for real pets. Actually, I find the majority of them to be blatant insults to the animals they try to replace. I have two cats. They are my furbabies. They pur, and play, and I never have to change their batteries. They walk around of their own free will, and are not limited to silly voice-commands. No robotic-fake-fur-covered device could replace them, ever.

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4. Num Noms Snackables Dippers

From what I could gather, these are (non-edible, the packaging makes that clear) plastic cups filled with slime that have a little toy inside. As I said in #2, I find slime uninteresting and tacky. Well, these slimes are even weirder, because they’re scented. Gross. Also, they cost $3.99…so what you are buying is a disgustingly scented borax concoction with a piece of plastic inside. Eventually, it’s just going to get mashed into your carpet and the little toy will get lost. What a fabulous purchase.

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5. Fidget Spinners

Like the slime, these bewilder me. They spin. Big deal. Why are we so obsessed?

 

*DOMAIN UPDATES*

I’m just making some last adjustments to my new site, and getting everything ready, including the special surprise (I’m so excited for it! EEK!). However, due to some stubborn glitches in the widgets on my new site, and a couple of other weird quirks, my domain switch has been rescheduled to the first week of March. I’ll let you know the exact date closer to the time. Thanks for being patient!

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5 Common Ballet Myths Debunked

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Hello, there peeps! Today I thought I’d debunk some common myths about ballet-because as a dancer, I this drives me crazy! So, without further ado, real ballet!

Myth #1. Ballerinas Are All Skinny, Tiny Wimps

Yeah….no. First of all, we are not all tiny and skinny. I am certainly not an incredibly skinny person, and I dance. In fact, incredibly skinny people often have a lot of trouble in dancing because it’s harder for them to balance. Second of all, dancers are very, very strong. Think about it; we have to support our entire body weight through our toes and ankles. Plus, we have to have iron-strong cores in order to be lifted off the ground and not flop. We also have to hold our legs up at insanely high angles for long periods. We are not weak, guys.

Myth #2. ”Toe Shoes”

UGH! NO! They are known as POINTE shoes, not toe, block, or hard shoes. And don’t you dare spell it ‘Point’. And no, you don’t get them whenever you want. In order to get pointe shoes, you have to have correct technique, a strong core, and your feet need to mostly done growing. Otherwise, you can seriously injure yourself.

Myth #3. We Wear Tutus to Every Class

At my ballet school, we are only allowed to wear cap-sleeved or camisole leotards in our assigned colors, pink tights, and pink canvas ballet shoes. No lace, no keyhole backs, no leather shoes. Except on Saturdays, when we’re there for 4 hours, and we can wear whatever we want, any other kind of attire is frowned upon. We only wear tulle skirts for performances, and actual tutus are usually reserved for older dancers (except this year, I finally get to wear one! JOY!)

Myth #4. All Ballets Are About Princesses

Nope! Take the Nutcracker-not a single princess in that one, unless you count the sugarplum fairy. Don Quixote, Les Sylphides, and Le Corsair are all princess-free. So there. And another note-NEVER watch the Barbie versions of these ballets-they are utterly incorrect.

Myth #5. Ballet is Easy

It’s not. Just no.

 

Well, guys, I hope you enjoyed my little rant on the myths of ballet- I need to wrap this up quick, ’cause I have class in an hour, hehe.

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