O N E Y E A R | M Y B I R T H D A Y

O N E Y E A R+T H I R T E E N.png

Why, hello, dear readers!

It feels strange to think that I’ve been typing that phrase almost every week for a year.

Then again, my poor little brain is also having difficulty with the fact that I’m now thirteen years old. Like, woah.

There’s two parts to this post, because today is a double celebration, which means double the party and double the cake.

Part One//My Birthday

Let me just be completely unreserved for a second;

HOW THE MONKEY FRITTERS AM I THIRTEEN?

Heck, if you think about it, it’s a wonder I’m still alive. From all the stupid, crazy, and dangerous things I did when I was younger (riding down a steep hill in a rusty wagon, anybody?), it’s a bit of a statistical miracle I didn’t end up with a traumatic brain injury or something.

My wry morbidity aside, yesterday was great. Fabulous. Wonderful. Fantastic, Grand, Marvelous, Terrific, Tremendous, Wondrous. Take your linguistic pick.

I baked a cake (and yelled at anyone who dared set foot in the kitchen), went shopping with my mom, walked the dog (don’t get excited, we’re dogsitting), got my hair cut (I have bangs now!), showed off my pastry expertise (if you can call binge-watching Tasty videos ‘expertise’), and then called my cousin and laughed about video games and song lyrics.

I chose not to have a party because a) A good chunk of my friends live hundreds or thousands of miles away, and b) I don’t like being the center of attention. Seriously, when my family sang ”happy birthday” to me at dinner, I just wanted to go all Opal Koboi and yell, ”’Don’t look at me, it’s bad for my skin!!”.

But, y’know, cake was next, and I wasn’t about to miss that.

Ah, yes, the cake! It was chocolate-chocolate fudge, with vanilla icing decorations.

dsc_0333

Yep, I made those flowers, and they were delicious.

As I piped the flowers, I realized I was singing a snippet of a song without even thinking about it. I smiled when I heard the words.

I’d rather pick flowers
Instead of fights
And rather than flaunt my style, I’d flash you a smile
Of clean pearly whites

It’s some Owl City song I like, I don’t remember which.It fit the moment perfectly, though!

As for gifts, I received an a-m-a-z-i-n-g new Nikon camera as a joint Christmas/Birthday present, and that’s what I took the pictures with. My mom also surprised me with the fabulous jacket I’d been eyeing at Old Navy, plus a shopping trip there. (I got some new tops and the COOLEST shoes) And of course, bangs, which I’m SO pleased with, and (the best part) they hide most of my skin problems (See, I told you looking at me was bad for my skin).

Yep, it was an awesome day, especially because I got so many incredibly sweet birthday wishes from so many people. My lovely IRL friend Joy sent me a birthday text, Bayance left me the best-ever birthday comment that literally made me choke up, and both my Grandmas sent me emails and cards.

I’ve decided that thirteen is pretty great, guys.


Part 2//Blogiversary

Onto the second and slightly more relevant part, TTC’s first blogiversary!

And now, it’s story time, so gather ’round, and I’ll tell you the previously untold tale of how Taking the Cake became an actual reality.

When I launched TTC, it was after planning and tweaking. The idea had floated through my head for a while, but it only really ‘stuck’, so to speak, during a long, late ballet class, during my least favorite combination (I really hate rond de jambes, guys).  Of course, the first thing I had to figure out was a name. However, because it was 7:53 (yep, I clearly remember what time it was), half my brain was focused on my rond de jambe en l’air, all I could come up with was….wait for it…..

Mugfuls of Mayonnaise.

I can see you all staring at those words and reevaluating whether or not you think Natalie is actually sane.

Fortunately, the smarter part of me realized that a name like that is about as unappetizing as you can get, so I frittered the idea away for another time.

Then a few days later, sitting on the couch, the perfect name came to me; Taking the Cake.

Don’t ask where I got the idea. I just remember that eureka moment on the couch. Which was also when I decided I’d release it on my birthday, only a a week away.

food-and-friends-birthday-cupcakes
The very first header for TTC

Due to an unplanned rescheduling because of  a snowstorm, I was in Philadelphia when TTC went live. I woke up in the hotel, and my mom came in and said ”Happy birthday!”
I blinked. ”Birthday? Who’s birthday-Oh, right, mine!”

Yep, I was so excited about TTC that I actually forgot my own birthday. No joke, people.

The hotel had a pool, and I remember smiling ear to ear with my hair dripping wet because of all the insanely sweet comments people left.

Seriously, getting birthday wishes from people across the country and world takes your day to a whole new level. On TTC’s first 24 hours on the internet, I hit 25 followers…how flipping amazing is that?

And now for stats:

3,258 Views

1,029 Visitors

829 Likes

740 Comments

Most Popular Day: Monday

Most Popular Time: 11 pm

Top Commenter: AGsInAlaska

 

WARNING: ABOUT TO GET SAPPY. TISSUES ARE RECOMMENDED

I owe every single one of you a huge thank-you. This blog has meant so much to me since the day I started it, and you are the ones who made it a reality. It’s so amazing to be able to have a place to talk about life, the universe, and everything, plus have amazing supportive friends to support you.

It’s been an amazing year. I started TTC, had my lifelong dream come true (POINTE SHOES!), got a new cat, and a new fictional obsession. You guys patiently listened to me ramble on about shank sizing and the blue eyed Irish geniuses, and didn’t brush me off as nuts.

This year certainly hasn’t been all fun and games, though. And you were there through it all, listening to me lament about dance drama and blue-eyed Irish geniuses. And you were so funny and supportive and amazing, just asdfghjkl.

So thank you. From the bottom of my heart.

Sappiness is now over. We now resume normal emotive states.

Part 3//Giveaway!

Haha, tricked you all! I made you think that sappiness and cake photos were all I was doing! Nothing could be farther from the truth.

Well,  okay, I guess declaring that red is now green and pine trees now sing opera is farther from the truth, but at any rate….

I really wanted to do a giveaway, but I wasn’t sure what to give away. I have so many different people with so many different interests reading my blog that nothing seemed like it would appeal to everyone.

Until I realized that everyone likes candy!

At least, the vast, vast majority of people like copious amounts sugar, so I figured it was a safe bet.

So, how would YOU like to win a mystery box full of 1.57 pounds of delicious, all-natural candy?

dsc_0357

I’m giving away this lovely plastic box. Aren’t you just jumping up and down with excitement?

dsc_0358

I forgot to mention that there’s stuff inside. My bad! Inside is some pretty blue tissue paper and 1.57 lbs. of awesome, high-quality candy. (selected by yours truly)

dsc_0361

The box includes a bag of caramel truffle hearts and brownie fudge squares….

dsc_0363

A bag of the longest sour gummy snakes I’ve ever seen (7.5 inches, guys, I measured)

dsc_0365

A bag of cherry vanilla gummies and candy eggs…

dsc_0368

A bag of strawberry gummies (and these are the best strawberry gummies you’ll ever taste. As in, they taste like real strawberries) and jellybeans…

dsc_0369

A bag of mint chocolate malt disks…..

dsc_0370

A bag of crispy chocolate drops….

dsc_0372

And last, but not least, a milk chocolate bar! Now, for any of you who are gawking because it’s from IKEA, let me tell you that IKEA has amazing chocolate bars, along with flat-packed furniture. So trust me here.

Would you care to enter? Just fill out the form below!

{Note: For some reason the form doesn’t show up in the reader, so you may have to go to my actual site to enter}

The deadline to enter is January 17th, and the winner will be announced on the 18th.

Thank you again for an amazing year, and here’s to many more (btw, spoiler alert-I’m not ever leaving the blogiverse  because Bayance threatened to steal all my AF books, and I need those for relative sanity so…)

Cheers, cupcakes!

lQTi3dvT

My Completely Unrealistic Birthday Wishlist 2019

post8.jpg

Hello there, readers!

So tomorrow I turn 13. Which according to Wikipedia, is a natural number occurring between 12 and 14.

catcake

I’m pretty sure you all knew that, so instead of writing a research paper on the number 13, I decided I’d do something else as not to force you guys to chew your own knees off with boredom.

hamstergif

People keep asking me what I want for my birthday, but honestly, there aren’t a whole lot of material things I want. New pointe shoes because my current ones are dying, character shoes because I need them for the mazurka dance we’re doing, maybe some more cats…

catgift
If anyone wants to give me a birthday present, give me this

The thing is, there are plenty of intangible things I want. A whole list, actually. And because I know that’s more interesting than rambling on about Triskaidekaphobia (fear of the number 13) and in case any of you happen to be interdimensional beings capable of powers perceived by normal humans as magic (if any of you are, please grant at least one of my wishes and make me incredibly happy) here’s the complete list:

  1. The ability to nail single and double pirouettes every time, in addition to a perfect extension.
  2.  For every one of those stupid rainbow pride flags to be obliterated from the Earth, and for everyone who supports that cause to come to their senses and/or cease and desist.
  3.  To actually look good in a leotard and tights
  4. For some terrible misfortune to befall the production of the Artemis Fowl movie such that causes it to be scrapped (said misfortune must be irreversible in order to leave no chance of the movie being made again)
  5.  For Minnie Mouse to be erased from the history of the world and henceforth made illegal
  6.  For my friend Joy to spontaneously move in right next to me so we can hang out every day
  7.  Ditto the above with my cousin
  8.  For my cats to suddenly gain the ability to speak English and/or walk on their hind legs like Bucky and Satchel
  9. To have long, thick, straight hair that goes easily into a bun
  10.  To run into a certain dark-haired, blue-eyed Irish boy named Artemis, and a certain sarcastic redheaded elf
  11. For all the incredibly stupid drama at dance to cease and desist, and for everyone who participated in it to be thoroughly ashamed.
  12.  For several more siblings, and for the Russian Adoption Ban to be lifted
  13.  Oh yeah, and peace and goodwill to all mankind.

Make sure to check back tomorrow for my whole blogiversary/birthday shebang, including me being annoyingly sappy and numerous cake photos.

Most unrealistic thing you want currently?

lQTi3dvT

6 Words I Always Have To Add To My Phone

6 Words I Always Have To Add To My Phone.png

Hello, lovely readers! Are you excited for Christmas? Yes? Great, you don’t need any help feeling festive. No? Also great, this post is completely free of holiday whatot.

I got a new phone last week, and after setting it up, texting my friends celebratory cat gifs, (shoutout to you, Joy!) and installing all my old apps, I realized there was one problem-this phone didn’t recognize a lot of the words I use.

For example, according to my new Motorola G4,  ‘fortytwoish’ is not a word.

”Well, it isn’t a word, Natalie, keep your pants on,” you say.

Excuse you, to paraphrase my dear fictional friend Bucky Katt, my talking websterizes wordage automatically.

”Now you’re not even speaking English!” you protest. ”Honestly, Natalie, did you hit your head? Really hard?”

Actually, yes, I did hit my head yesterday chasing after a two year old, but that is completely unrelated. What I said was that if I can say a word, it’s therefore a word and I should be able to use it in my texts. So there.

Obviously, I sat down and spent the next hour adding a rather long list of words that I personally invented. Here they are, and the story behind each one.


‘Fortytwoish’

As you all learned in this post, I’m a Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy junkie, and along with lollipops, the number 5, and printables, I’m obsessed with the number 42. This particular incarnation of the number was first used when I had this conversation with my brother:

iphone-M33n

Now every time I type in ”f-o-r….” it suggests ‘fortytwoish’.  (and if you think I was being jerkish [see farther below], he had already eaten two bags of said M&Ms, and I wasn’t about to make it three)

‘LEPRecon’

Of course, my phone must recognize this. It stands for Lower Elements Police Reconnaissance, and if I must tell you, it’s from Artemis Fowl. Knowing me, you should have known that…

‘FuzzyTuzzBo/BuzzySchmuzzBa/TuzzyWuzzBo’

These are my pet names (no pun intended) for my cats. To get the full effect, you have to hear me loudly whisper them to my cat while petting them and mangling my grammar for effect. But recordings eat up storage, so a typical text conversation featuring felines goes like this;

kittytext.pngBecause as is clearly visible above, I have zero control when it comes to my cats.

‘FanFic/FanFiction’

I’m pretty sure my phone would accept ‘Fan Fiction’, as two separate words, but because I like smushing words together and capitalizing at weird intervals, I write it like that and my phone has been forced to accept it.

‘Freddled Gruntbuggly/Micturations/Plurdled Gabbleblotchis/Gobberwarts/Blurglecruncheon/Foonting Turlingdromes’

You probably saw that and thought I had gone completely nuts. I assure you, I haven’t. The above nonsensical arrangements of syllables are part of only the worst poetry in the galaxy, and the third worst in the universe….Vogon Poetry!

*crickets*

….From the Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy. Which I frequently text my brother when I have nothing better to do or when he’s not replying.

iphone-jD4nI do this quite a lot, actually….

‘Bloggage’

I like improving (mangling?) words by adding ‘-age’ to the end of the infinitive and using them that way with questionable grammar. For example;

iphone-LD4n.png
Other words I’ve improved (mangled); Jerk=jerkish/jerkishly. Food=foodage/foodishly. Fuzz=fuzzage/fuzzish.

Yes, I’m aware of the fact you all think I’m completely insane now.

Favorite invented word? Words your phone never recognizes?

lQTi3dvT

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two Truths+A Lie Blogger Edition

Two Truths+Lie
Well, hello there!
I’m back today with a revamped version of a popular party game-Two Truths and a Lie. Essentially, someone states three facts about themselves, two are true, one is false. Everyone else has to guess which one is the lie, and the person who guesses the most correctly gets a point. Today I’m here with the awesome Bayance and Emmie, and we’re going to see which friend knows me better. Ready?
A. I don’t have pierced ears, I only wear clip-ons.
B. My birthday is in January.
C. I have five siblings.
Emmie; The lie is… C.
Bayance; WHAT! How do I not know when your birthday is?? I know C is right but….!! *quickly scans all comments and emails and blog posts* AHAAAA I found it! On June 6 2018, on AGG, you posted Birthdays and Beginnings. Mwahahaha – so A is a lie. And wow, I can’t believe I never asked for your birthday. I’ll be sure to send you Flash merch next year xD. 
Wait, what? Yes, the lie is A, but…I posted that in  January?  (but please do still send me Flash merch.) Emmie, you’d better believe it, I do have five siblings, crazy, eh? XD
A. I have three cats.
B. I’m lactose intolerant.
C. My favorite drink is coke.
Emmie; C
Bayance; C IS THE LIEEE. We literally talked about doing a Why I Hate Pop collab so ding ding ding XD
Ding-ding-ding!! One point for both of you!
A. I share a room with my two sisters
B. I take ballet and tap
C. I knit
Emmie; A
Bayance; Okay B is right. Andd found it again. On taking the cake, Natalie posted 10 Things she can’t live without and one of them was yarn aka crochet and knitting. So yay! The lie is A. Wow this slowly is turning into tracking down facts about Natalie because I’m a terrible friend. 
Nope, I do share a room with my sisters and I suck at anything other than ballet…but nice one on the yarn! (I’m starting to envy people who have their own rooms…)
A. I’ve been blogging on TTC since 2017
B. I live on a farm
C. I’m nearsighted
Emmie; B
Bayance; Ha. Ha. Ha. You started TTC on your birthday actually but of 2018. So that makes A the lie. Wow I’m seriously cheating right now.
One point for Bayance…sorry, Emmie! Although maybe I shouldn’t count that because even Bay admits that was cheating?
A. My favorite bands are Kaleo and Owl City
B. I also love Britt Nicole
C. I prefer earbuds to headphones
Emmie; C
Bayance; Whattt? Okay I’m too lazy to search these up but I think the lie is C?
GUYS SERIOUSLY. I hate Britt Nicole with a fiery passion, haven’t I ranted on this yet? (nothing on Britt Nicole the person but her songs seriously make me want to bang my head against a wall.) No points given!
bird.gif
A. I hate guacamole
B. I hate rodents
C. I hate anything grape-flavored
Emmie; B
Bayance; It’s gotta be C. You did say you loved Avocado so the first one’s not true…wait. Omg I’m so dumb. A is the lie haha.
Didn’t I do a post where I said I hated rodents?? A is the lie, guacamole is amazing, lol. One point for Bayance (I’m totally not keeping track here, oops)
A. I just got my second pair of pointe shoes
B. I wear Bloch European Balance
C. I never get pointe blisters
Emmie; C. Hands down.
Bayance; C IS A LIEEE! Right? I mean I’d get toe funerals if I ever wear them so blisters are almost guaranteed!
Okay, this was actually one of the hardest ones because I’m pretty sure only like 5% of the ballerina population avoids blisters, but A is the lie. I have never gotten a pointe blister, I’m so special, lol.

special

A. I just got contacts
B. I just got a second piercing in my ears
C. I just got my left and right splits
Emmie; A
 Bayance; According to Life Updates in February 2018, you just got your left splits so…did you get the right ones? Waait a second. On my contacts post, you absolutely hated them but don’t you dance? I DON’T KNOW. Okay I’ll go with B.
Yay, Bayance!! I want a second hole really bad, but I’m not allowed to get one until my 14th birthday….*sniff* One point for Bay!
A. I’m a sucker for grammar
B. I’m a sucker for spelling
C. I’m a sucker for soda
Emmie; B?
Bayance; GRAMMAR AND SPELLING ARE LIKE RELATED. Oh wait that makes it easier. C is the lie. 
Another one for Bayance…Emmie, are you doing okay there??
Hang in there, this is the last one!
A. When I was five, I backflipped off a wagon onto pavement and got a concussion
B. Once, the FBI showed up at my house.
C. I can hold a handstand for five minutes.
Emmie;…..?
Bayance; Woaah. C is probably the lie. I barely did 5 seconds in 5th grade and broke my collarbone so… But wait, in China it’s regular to hold it for 40 minutes. Ughhh! Fine I’m still going with C. You need to tell me about the first two.
I BETTER GET 50%!! 
Wow, Bay, you totally called that one. I had to wrack my brains to think of weird impossible things for this last one and you guessed it, I’m impressed….wait, you do know what the FBI is right? (oh, nevermind, yes you do, this post)
Anyway, yes, I did backflip off a wagon in kindergarten and get a concussion, and the FBI DID show up at my house once (no, nobody was arrested, they were interviewing someone on the Russian Adoption Ban)
serious
And now the score is…
*scrolls back up to count points*
Today’s champion is your very own (if you’re Canadian, I guess?) Bayance, with 6.5 points! (the half is because she admitted she cheated on that one).
Apparently, Bayance knows me better than Emmie, but maybe that’s just because I comment weird things on Bay’s blog?
Anyway, thanks for reading and being part of the TTC crew!
Have you ever played two truths and a lie? What’s one really weird thing about you?
lQTi3dvT

How Well Does An American Know Canada? Ft. Bayance

How Much Does An American Know About Canada_

Canada and the United States. They’re literally stacked on top of each other, and are pretty tolerant of each other, so therefore we probably know at least a preliminary amount about each other-right?

Well today I’m being joined by my internet bestie and utterly fabulous blogger Bayance, to see if that’s actually true. She’s Canadian, I’m American (still trying to figure out how to mail myself across the border so we can hang out, any ideas are welcome)and we both asked each other trivia questions about our own country. Without too much googling, we had to answer them. Make sure to go over to  Bayance’s post, where I quiz her on her knowledge of the USA.

Annnnnd I’ve been chattering way too long, so let’s get started

Questions are in bold
My answers are in plain text
Bayance is in italics
1. Who is Canada’s prime minister?
Um…what’s a prime minister? Haha, just kidding, it’s like the president…sort of? Is it…um…William Robert Joseph, aka Billy Bob Joe?
WHAT?! I thought that was a legit president but no. 😂 It’s Justin Trudeau and yeah it’s kind of like a president. 
2. What is the capital of Canada?
Regina? Saskatchewan?
Okay this is disappointing. I thought you’d be like everyone else and say Toronto or Montreal but nope, the fricking prairies. 😂Lol it’s Ottowa.
I’m sorry I had to say this, so wow, Canadians named Otto have a whole city? Sweet Monkey Fritters.
Oh, wait, but then again, all the Marys in the USA have a whole state, Maryland, so I guess that’s not too novel.
3. When was Canada founded?
Uhhh…1889? 1915? I really have no idea.
Eh..kind of close. 1867.
4. What is Canada’s population?
800,000. Yes, that was supposed to sound confident but it was a complete guess.
Bruh we’re the second largest country in the world. It’s 38 million. 😂
Seriously how did I not know that like what??
whatdidyousay
5. How many time zones does Canada have?
Hmmm….3? We have four, but one is really small, so….
Six lol 😂
6. What is a two dollar bill called in Canada?
OH! I know this one because you mentioned it in a post that for some reason I remember when I can’t remember what I ate for breakfast today. It’s called a toonie, yes?
Yayyy your first point. Btw funny story – today my siblings had an event and they sold toonie jars and you have to roll the dice and pay $2 to get a jar full of treats from the school. And guess what one of the ones we got was? Glue and popsicle sticks like whattt? It was so sad because I was really expecting those good chocolate bars but no. So now whenever my sister asks me a question, I reply with toonie in a very weird accent because I’m still traumatized. Lol wow I’m so dramatic but anyways.
tumblr_m7idbfJcFi1ryj6qoo1_500
7. How many provinces and territories are in Canada? Which one is the largest?
12 provinces (I’m sorry, I looked this one up) and I’m guessing for territories…four? Eight? I have no idea bout size, though.
Nice try – 10 provinces and 3 territories. Nunavut is the biggest. 
8. Who was the first prime minister of Canada?
Barry Allen! Justin Bieber! Nelson Mandela! (zero clue on this one)
I’m actually going to cry from these answers. 😂😂Really, Justin Bieber? It’s John A. Mcdonald.
9. What is the National anthem called?
Well there’s this slightly off color American joke about the national anthem, saying that it basically goes ”Oh, oh, oh, maple syrup and some mooses….” but I’m assuming that’s NOT how it goes…um, is it ”Plaid Flannel Shirts Forever”? or ”It’s Always Freezing Here?”
Okay I really don’t get all these stereotypes. They sell maple syrups in like supermarkets and I’ve never seen a moose so…😂 Hey, flannel shirts are bae! And no it’s called ‘O Canada’ and it goes ”Ohhh Canada our home and native landdd true patriot loveee-”okay you can search it up. 😂
WHATT YOU’VE NEVER SEEN A MOOSE?? I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY

noidea

10. Draw a Canadian flag and insert it here.

DSCF0788.JPG

I drew this on the back of my Latin quiz so cross your fingers I won’t have to explain the whole thing to my Latin teacher because it’ll make me sound nuts
Hey, that’s not too bad! But the maple leaf has more corners than that lol. But what’s with the Ho?

So…essentially I know almost nothing about Canada, except what they call their $2 bill. But hey, at least this was funny. Stay tuned for next week’s stereotypes post, where we find out if Canadians really do drink maple syrup and if Americans really do think Kinder eggs are more hazardous than weapons.
Are you Canadian or American? If not, what are you*?
Don’t forget to check out Bayance’s post because it’s bound to be way better than mine!
lQTi3dvT
*Hopefully a person, but I mean like where are you from, lol

August Recap//September Stuff

August Recap__.png

Why, oh why, does August have to be over? I was enjoying all those lazy days so much…

Summer freetime withdrawal aside, nothing much happened this month because I spent it relaxing (which means I was being lazy), but for the sake of posterity here’s a recap.

Blogging

So, this month I posted three times. And I would have posted this yesterday, but that would have made four times in one month and that wouldn’t have done at all (you’ll only get that if you’ve read Artemis Fowl)

I looked at my poll results and they were…interesting. So nobody cared much for my Q&As, tags/awards, or practical posts. And only 22% of people wanted to see my life posts. Most of you like my funny posts (77.78%)

And ya know what, to be honest, those are my favorite kind of posts to write. TTC may be going through a little rejiggering phase to focus more on the funny, and less on the lifestyle, but it’ll be mostly the same. Just funnier 😉

August’s most popular post was Dear Pinterest… (definitely my favorite, too)

My favorite post from around the blogosphere was probably Struggles Of Having Thick Hair-so relatable!

And that just about wraps up blogging.


Life

This month was so nice and relaxed until all of a sudden at the end I just realized how nuts this year is gonna be, and then more stuff to make it crazier happened.

  • I have ballet 4 days a week
  • I have co-op on Wednesdays and oh, joy, one of my best friends isn’t going to be there because her mom decided to ship her off to public school. I don’t want to be rude (who am I kidding, I’m about to be really salty) but wHaT tHe MoNkEy FrItTeRs WhY?? Like, thanks sooooo much for taking my best friend away from me, I really appreciate it. With legit no warning, she was going to be in the co-op and then last week her mom informed us that she isn’t. Whyyyyyy?
  • I got a new cat! Actually, that was back in July, but I don’t know if I announced it? Anyway, he’s a sweet little gray tuxedo with uneven socks and his name is Apollo. And oh my lemurs, he’s so little! Barely more than a kitten, so he’s super playful and silly. Shhhh-I think I’m his favorite human!
IMG_20180810_164420~2
He knocked over my fairy garden and scared the fairies away ;p
  • My ballet school hired me? Haha, no, not like that, I’m a teacher’s assistant on Mondays with the 6-7 year olds, which would be awesome enough, but they’re PAYING me, too!? I get $7/hour towards my tuition, plus I get to help with the little chubs? I said yes, of course, and I can’t wait.
  • A bunch of jerks moved up into my ballet class, but providentially they aren’t en pointe, so I get to escape them for that hour. I can just picture myself leaving class with my pointe shoes over my shoulder just being like, ”Later, losers! Have fun being bored in pre-pointe!” (which I’d never actually do, but it’s funny to think about)
  • I went fishing with my brothers at a nearby inlet of the bay, and they brought an inflatable raft. So after a while, I got tired of fishing from the pier, and asked for a ride in the boat. Well, long story short, I slipped and sat down in the water twice, ended up walking 50 yards just to get back to shore, and caught no fish, but not before I turned back at that raft and yelled ”Curse you and your manufacturers!!” Apparently I’m quite nautically inept. Interestingly the next time we took the raft to the water, it got accidentally stabbed with a fillet knife. Hopefully the curse didn’t reach the manufacturers….
  • I went leotard shopping and had an awesome time, like why have I never done this before?

Miscellaneous

  • I’m pretty much using GNU/Linux full time now ’cause Windows broke on my laptop, good riddance! Free as in freedom!
  • I learned to do flips on a trampoline-well, less learned, and more just took a risk and tried it. I’m now convinced my family needs one, because we have all this space anyway.
  • I got together with a friend I hadn’t seen in over a year, and OMG I just had the best time. We sang all the geeky songs we used to, ran back and forth across the backyard with umbrellas to try to get my brother and his friend’s attention, horsed around in the pool….it was fantastic. Although how I remembered all those ridiculous lyrics is beyond me.
  • Went AIP Paleo and to be honest I’m not liking it that much….

September Stuff

This month’s goals;

  • Keep up with my schoolwork
  • Keep up with both of my blogs
  • Stay Paleo (it’s not happening, I just know it)
  • Save enough money for a laptop I can put Linux on. Windows sucks, spies on me, and supports Planned Parenthood and the alphabet soup gang (LGBT ”marriage”)). Noooooo thank you
  • Freaking actually lose the weight I wanna lose, this month I’m really going to try to do it

How was your August? Are you loving or hating September?

lQTi3dvT

Easy/Healthy/Fast Breakfasts|Collab With Bayance|Back To School Marathon

Easy, Healthy Tasty Breakfasts

Greetings, cupcakes! It’s that time of year again where everyone is…either groaning or cheering because of….school!! Yay…

Now if you’re most people, you probably have on the order of 2.5 seconds to eat in the mornings. And if you’re like me, it’s seriously tempting to just grab a sugary granola bar or a toaster waffle. I used to have a theory that food in the morning can be healthy, fast, or delicious. Pick two. So most days, I just chose fast and delicious and ended up feeling like a dead person by 11 am.

Well, throw your waffles and carb-filled granola bars to the wind, because I’ve got three easy, healthy AND delicious breakfasts for you that will take you almost no time. And Bayance has three more so that’s a total of…well, I’ll let you do the math. It’s back-to-school after all. Think of it as a pop quiz, and if you pass, you get food. (wow, I’m bribing you)

 

Overnight Oats.png

Whoever invented this food deserves a Nobel Prize, because these are genius.

To make overnight oats, put 1/4 cup rolled oats in a jar. Pour in 1/2 cup milk, almond milk, or, if you’re feeling adventurous, orange juice. Add 1/2 tsp honey or sugar if you like things sweet, but it’s healthier if you don’t. Add chopped fresh or frozen fruit of your choice, any flavoring, give it a good stir, and chill overnight. In the morning, just open the fridge and feel like an A+ student. At least in the food department.

A few tasty combinations;

Oats+Milk+Strawberries+Drop of Vanilla+Strawberries and Cream

Oats+Orange Juice+Pineapple=Tropical Punch

Oats+Milk+1 tsp. Cocoa Powder+Bananas+1tsp. Peanut butter=Chocolate Monkey

 

Spinach Quiche.png

When you’re eating THIS in the morning, all feels right in the world. Because, c’mon how awesome is it to eat egg pie in the morning and still have time to spare? All you have to do for this breakfast is heat it up and slice it. Flaky, eggy, deliciousness. If you make this Sunday night, you’ll have enough to have breakfast each weekday.

1/2 cup butter

3 cloves garlic, chopped

1 small onion, chopped

1 (10 ounce) package frozen chopped spinach, thawed and drained

1 (4.5 ounce) can mushrooms, drained

1 (6 ounce) package herb and garlic feta, crumbled

1 (8 ounce) package shredded Cheddar cheese

salt and pepper to taste

1 (9 inch) unbaked deep dish pie crust (omit if you’re like me and trying to be low-carb)

4 eggs, beaten

Add all ingredients to list

1 cup milk

salt and pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).

  1. In a medium skillet, melt butter over medium heat. Saute garlic and onion in butter until lightly browned, about 7 minutes. Stir in spinach, mushrooms, feta and 1/2 cup Cheddar cheese. Season with salt and pepper. Spoon mixture into pie crust.
  2. In a medium bowl, whisk together eggs and milk. Season with salt and pepper. Pour into the pastry shell, allowing egg mixture to thoroughly combine with spinach mixture.
  3. Bake in preheated oven for 15 minutes. Sprinkle top with remaining Cheddar cheese, and bake an additional 35 to 40 minutes, until set in center. Allow to stand 10 minutes before serving.
In the morning, just cut a slice, reheat, and enjoy the flaky amazingness.
Grain-Free Granola Bars.png
I’m not going to lie, I loooove granola bars. They’re delicious, they pack easily, and you can eat them anywhere. However, most packaged brands make me feel awful becayse they have gluten and tons of sugar in them. These, though, are grain and gluten free, and have minimal sugar.
To make these you’ll need;

 

¼ cup raw honey

½ cup raw, unsweetened almond butter (or nut butter of choice – bonus points if you make your own nut butters!)

2 Tbsp coconut oil

1 tsp  vanilla

½ cup raw almonds

½ cup raw walnuts

½ cup raw cashews

½ cup raw pecans

5  dates, pits removed

¼ cup pepitas (raw pumpkin seeds)

¼ cup dried, unsweetened cranberries

¼ cup shredded unsweetened coconut

Instructions
  1. Line a 9×13 baking pan with parchment paper and set aside. Tip: make sure the parchment paper is large enough so that when the mixture is added, edges of the paper stick up. You can use the paper to grab and lift the bar out of the pan.
  2. In a saucepan over medium heat combine raw honey, almond butter, coconut oil and vanilla. Bring to a soft rolling boil, stirring to combine and to ensure that it doesn’t burn.
  3. Soak the dates in warm to hot water for about 10 minutes.
  4. In a food processor, blender or chopper, blend/grind/chop nuts until they are a coarse consistency. It’s ok to have some larger pieces of nuts left in the mix.
  5. Remove dates from water, and add softened dates to the nut mixture, pulsing to combine (I don’t have a food processor and this didn’t work well for me in the blender, so I just mixed the dates in by hand, and since they were soft enough, they combines really easily.) Transfer to a large mixing bowl.
  6. Add the pepitas, cranberries, help hearts and coconut to the nut and date mixture, stirring to get everything mixed together really well.
  7. Add the honey/nut butter mixture that’s been simmering on the stove to the nut mixture and stir to combine with a wooden spoon.
  8. Pour the granola bar mixture into the parchment paper lined pan, and using your fingers, press the mixture out evenly in the dish.
  9. Put in the freezer to cool for about 2 hours. Once cold, remove from the pan using the parchment paper to lift the bars out of the dish, and then with a sharp knife cut into bars.
  10. Store the bars in a sealed container in the fridge.

Enjoy your delicious guilt-free snacks.

When do you guys start school? Don’t forget to check out Bayance’s post!

lQTi3dvT

Dear Pinterest…

Dear.png

Dear Pinterest, where would I be without you? On my darkest days, you were there in my favorites bar to console me with ridiculous memes that are only funny when you’re desperate.

Then again, without you, I’d probably have done better on that Latin final, because I’d have studied more if you weren’t there to distract me every 30 seconds.

But you did have gloriously colorful tantalizing pictures of cute flash cards that I was drooling over.

08492eb613d037f87b392cdb19e35aac.jpg

Yet, the problem with you is that the ideas I get from your library of approximatley 4.7 gazillion images and ideas always turn out looking terrible, from that failed crochet unicorn (ended up with a depressed looking groundhog with a misshapen lump on his forehead) to that time I tried to make keto fudge sauce (ended up with gaggingly sweet chocolate glop).

You were there for all my obsessions, from the ones that lasted two minutes (ombre hair) to the ones that have lasted two years (The Flaaaaaaash….Artemis Fowl!!!)

 

You made me realize that while I may be painfully socially awkward, a complete weirdo, geek, and nerd, I’m not the only one.

There are plenty of other people with my problem, we just only come together on the internet. Oh, joy.

I literally have a board entitled ”So True” for all those pins that make me go; ”OH D’ARVIT YAS”

Dear Pinterest, thank you for being there for all my fangirling needs;


But please, stop making me want so many things, for the love of lemurs, I’m never going to be able to get all of this, I have no money.

Pinterest, thank you for introducing me to LoadingArtist, Odd1sOut, and Sheldon thee Tiny Dinosaur, three hilarious webcomics that have kept me laughing (”What do I have to live for? Oh, wait, new LoadingArtist on Tuesday!”).

Dear Pinterest, you are many things, a distraction, and a great tool. (But mostly a distraction)

So thank you.

Yours Always, Except When I Have Schoolwork Or My Laptop Is Dead,

lQTi3dvT

Thoughts On Pinterest?

Home Alone (With My Siblings)

Home Alone(With My Siblings).png

Parents; ”We’re going out tonight, you and your older brothers are in charge, everyone should go to bed at 10 pm.”

Me; ”Sure, Mom.”

Ah, yes. Sounds easy doesn’t it? Annnnd yet it never is.

Home alone with my siblings; I have actually had to utter these sentences…

”No, we are not going to set those moldy grapes on fire, put the matches down!”

”Do not feed the cats cheese! Eat it yourself!”

”JUST GO TO BED AND STOP TRYING TO BACKFLIP OFF THE COUCH!!”

”Ohhhh no, no M rated games for you!”

I’ve actually had to…

  • Spray my cats with the hose in February to break up a cat fight
  • Wash shrimp alfredo sauce out of my sister’s hair because ”somebody” flipped a plate off the table
  • Fish my glasses out of the sink because they fell off when my younger brother came barreling through the kitchen while I was clearing the table
  • Rewrite an entire post on my blog because a rogue golf ball just happened to hit the power button on my laptop (don’t ask where the ball came from)

However, we have had some awesome XBOX battles, and Monopoly tournaments.

I usually get to cook on nights when my parents go out, which I love.

I get a free pass to use my laptop all evening, which means I can churn out a post or two (if I’m not too distracted by Pinterest)

And, of course, my little sister and I can giggle together after we go to bed without having to freeze every time we hear footsteps outside our door.

Do you ever stay home with you siblings?

lQTi3dvT

 

 

Blogger Problems|New Series

Blogger Problems.png

Hey, guys! What be up? (bad grammar intentional). Anyway, may I present my newest post series, Blogger Problems! Essentially where I go nuts with the graphic design and make pleasing images of all the annoying things bloggers can relate to.

All my best friends are on the internet

I’m looking at you, Bayance, Emmie, and Rebekah. If you’re ever in the Chesapeake Bay area….

bloggerproblems #2

This happened to me when I was a baby blogger and had just started my doll blog…I told my friend who loved dolls, and then the next week everyone was saying ”Hey, your blog is neat,” and ”You blog??”. And I was just like ”I really don’t want to talk about it….” ..”

What are some blogger problems you’ve been having? If I relate, I’ll make graphics!

lQTi3dvT