My Completely Unrealistic Birthday Wishlist 2019

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Hello there, readers!

So tomorrow I turn 13. Which according to Wikipedia, is a natural number occurring between 12 and 14.

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I’m pretty sure you all knew that, so instead of writing a research paper on the number 13, I decided I’d do something else as not to force you guys to chew your own knees off with boredom.

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People keep asking me what I want for my birthday, but honestly, there aren’t a whole lot of material things I want. New pointe shoes because my current ones are dying, character shoes because I need them for the mazurka dance we’re doing, maybe some more cats…

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If anyone wants to give me a birthday present, give me this

The thing is, there are plenty of intangible things I want. A whole list, actually. And because I know that’s more interesting than rambling on about Triskaidekaphobia (fear of the number 13) and in case any of you happen to be interdimensional beings capable of powers perceived by normal humans as magic (if any of you are, please grant at least one of my wishes and make me incredibly happy) here’s the complete list:

  1. The ability to nail single and double pirouettes every time, in addition to a perfect extension.
  2.  For every one of those stupid rainbow pride flags to be obliterated from the Earth, and for everyone who supports that cause to come to their senses and/or cease and desist.
  3.  To actually look good in a leotard and tights
  4. For some terrible misfortune to befall the production of the Artemis Fowl movie such that causes it to be scrapped (said misfortune must be irreversible in order to leave no chance of the movie being made again)
  5.  For Minnie Mouse to be erased from the history of the world and henceforth made illegal
  6.  For my friend Joy to spontaneously move in right next to me so we can hang out every day
  7.  Ditto the above with my cousin
  8.  For my cats to suddenly gain the ability to speak English and/or walk on their hind legs like Bucky and Satchel
  9. To have long, thick, straight hair that goes easily into a bun
  10.  To run into a certain dark-haired, blue-eyed Irish boy named Artemis, and a certain sarcastic redheaded elf
  11. For all the incredibly stupid drama at dance to cease and desist, and for everyone who participated in it to be thoroughly ashamed.
  12.  For several more siblings, and for the Russian Adoption Ban to be lifted
  13.  Oh yeah, and peace and goodwill to all mankind.

Make sure to check back tomorrow for my whole blogiversary/birthday shebang, including me being annoyingly sappy and numerous cake photos.

Most unrealistic thing you want currently?

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3 thoughts on “My Completely Unrealistic Birthday Wishlist 2019

    1. Thank you! I find Minnie Mouse to be a) creepy and b) her voice drives me crazy. Maybe Disney could just redo her to make her less creepy?
      Hmm…yes, if the cats get to speak English, it’s, only fair that the dogs do, too. We’re actually dogsitting a Golden Retriever right now and I’d love to hear what my cats think, lol. It would, wouldn’t it? Thank you so much, Diamond!
      {Natalie}

      Like

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