Hello, lovely readers! Are you excited for Christmas? Yes? Great, you don’t need any help feeling festive. No? Also great, this post is completely free of holiday whatot.
I got a new phone last week, and after setting it up, texting my friends celebratory cat gifs, (shoutout to you, Joy!) and installing all my old apps, I realized there was one problem-this phone didn’t recognize a lot of the words I use.
For example, according to my new Motorola G4, ‘fortytwoish’ is not a word.
”Well, it isn’t a word, Natalie, keep your pants on,” you say.
Excuse you, to paraphrase my dear fictional friend Bucky Katt, my talking websterizes wordage automatically.
”Now you’re not even speaking English!” you protest. ”Honestly, Natalie, did you hit your head? Really hard?”
Actually, yes, I did hit my head yesterday chasing after a two year old, but that is completely unrelated. What I said was that if I can say a word, it’s therefore a word and I should be able to use it in my texts. So there.
Obviously, I sat down and spent the next hour adding a rather long list of words that I personally invented. Here they are, and the story behind each one.
As you all learned in this post, I’m a Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy junkie, and along with lollipops, the number 5, and printables, I’m obsessed with the number 42. This particular incarnation of the number was first used when I had this conversation with my brother:
Now every time I type in ”f-o-r….” it suggests ‘fortytwoish’. (and if you think I was being jerkish [see farther below], he had already eaten two bags of said M&Ms, and I wasn’t about to make it three)
Of course, my phone must recognize this. It stands for Lower Elements Police Reconnaissance, and if I must tell you, it’s from Artemis Fowl. Knowing me, you should have known that…
These are my pet names (no pun intended) for my cats. To get the full effect, you have to hear me loudly whisper them to my cat while petting them and mangling my grammar for effect. But recordings eat up storage, so a typical text conversation featuring felines goes like this;
Because as is clearly visible above, I have zero control when it comes to my cats.
I’m pretty sure my phone would accept ‘Fan Fiction’, as two separate words, but because I like smushing words together and capitalizing at weird intervals, I write it like that and my phone has been forced to accept it.
‘Freddled Gruntbuggly/Micturations/Plurdled Gabbleblotchis/Gobberwarts/Blurglecruncheon/Foonting Turlingdromes’
You probably saw that and thought I had gone completely nuts. I assure you, I haven’t. The above nonsensical arrangements of syllables are part of only the worst poetry in the galaxy, and the third worst in the universe….Vogon Poetry!
….From the Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy. Which I frequently text my brother when I have nothing better to do or when he’s not replying.
I do this quite a lot, actually….
I like improving (mangling?) words by adding ‘-age’ to the end of the infinitive and using them that way with questionable grammar. For example;
Other words I’ve improved (mangled); Jerk=jerkish/jerkishly. Food=foodage/foodishly. Fuzz=fuzzage/fuzzish.
Yes, I’m aware of the fact you all think I’m completely insane now.
Favorite invented word? Words your phone never recognizes?