6 Words I Always Have To Add To My Phone

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Hello, lovely readers! Are you excited for Christmas? Yes? Great, you don’t need any help feeling festive. No? Also great, this post is completely free of holiday whatot.

I got a new phone last week, and after setting it up, texting my friends celebratory cat gifs, (shoutout to you, Joy!) and installing all my old apps, I realized there was one problem-this phone didn’t recognize a lot of the words I use.

For example, according to my new Motorola G4,  ‘fortytwoish’ is not a word.

”Well, it isn’t a word, Natalie, keep your pants on,” you say.

Excuse you, to paraphrase my dear fictional friend Bucky Katt, my talking websterizes wordage automatically.

”Now you’re not even speaking English!” you protest. ”Honestly, Natalie, did you hit your head? Really hard?”

Actually, yes, I did hit my head yesterday chasing after a two year old, but that is completely unrelated. What I said was that if I can say a word, it’s therefore a word and I should be able to use it in my texts. So there.

Obviously, I sat down and spent the next hour adding a rather long list of words that I personally invented. Here they are, and the story behind each one.


‘Fortytwoish’

As you all learned in this post, I’m a Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy junkie, and along with lollipops, the number 5, and printables, I’m obsessed with the number 42. This particular incarnation of the number was first used when I had this conversation with my brother:

iphone-M33n

Now every time I type in ”f-o-r….” it suggests ‘fortytwoish’.  (and if you think I was being jerkish [see farther below], he had already eaten two bags of said M&Ms, and I wasn’t about to make it three)

‘LEPRecon’

Of course, my phone must recognize this. It stands for Lower Elements Police Reconnaissance, and if I must tell you, it’s from Artemis Fowl. Knowing me, you should have known that…

‘FuzzyTuzzBo/BuzzySchmuzzBa/TuzzyWuzzBo’

These are my pet names (no pun intended) for my cats. To get the full effect, you have to hear me loudly whisper them to my cat while petting them and mangling my grammar for effect. But recordings eat up storage, so a typical text conversation featuring felines goes like this;

kittytext.pngBecause as is clearly visible above, I have zero control when it comes to my cats.

‘FanFic/FanFiction’

I’m pretty sure my phone would accept ‘Fan Fiction’, as two separate words, but because I like smushing words together and capitalizing at weird intervals, I write it like that and my phone has been forced to accept it.

‘Freddled Gruntbuggly/Micturations/Plurdled Gabbleblotchis/Gobberwarts/Blurglecruncheon/Foonting Turlingdromes’

You probably saw that and thought I had gone completely nuts. I assure you, I haven’t. The above nonsensical arrangements of syllables are part of only the worst poetry in the galaxy, and the third worst in the universe….Vogon Poetry!

*crickets*

….From the Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy. Which I frequently text my brother when I have nothing better to do or when he’s not replying.

iphone-jD4nI do this quite a lot, actually….

‘Bloggage’

I like improving (mangling?) words by adding ‘-age’ to the end of the infinitive and using them that way with questionable grammar. For example;

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Other words I’ve improved (mangled); Jerk=jerkish/jerkishly. Food=foodage/foodishly. Fuzz=fuzzage/fuzzish.

Yes, I’m aware of the fact you all think I’m completely insane now.

Favorite invented word? Words your phone never recognizes?

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American Stereotypes Debunked ft. Bayance

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The long awaited part twooooo of our (mine and Bayance’s ) Canada and USA collab! Now we finally get to debunk and find out the truth behind Canadian stereotypes of Americans-and don’t forget to check out Bayance’s post as she debunks my preconceived notions of Canadians.

Q. When is America going to realize that they should ban guns instead of kinder eggs?
A. Uh…never? The 2nd amendment gives us the right to bear arms, so we are not ever  banning firearms, but at some point they’ve gotta make an amendment to allow Kinder Eggs…I mean, the FDA doesn’t allow them because of ”choking hazards” but seriously, nobody’s going to choke on that capsule…AND IT’S CHOCOLATE FOR THE LOVE OF LEMURS.
Q. Do all American schools have cheerleaders?
A. As far as I know, but I have like no experience with schools, so I can’t say for sure.
Q. Is every football player a jerk in America?
A. Nope, I know a guy who plays football and he’s pretty nice. Although I’ve definitely heard that football players often get really snobby.
Q. Is there a lot of racism?
A. No, not really. I’ve never actually witnessed any, and although some people blame it for not getting accepted into colleges and jobs, I honestly think we’re pretty racism-free. 
Q. Are people from Texas all cowboys (and girls)?
A. Nope! I know several people from Texas and some of them have never even ridden a horse..
Q. Do people is the US really get homeschooled because kids are mean?
A. Oh, no. I’m homeschooled because my mom loves teaching, but I’ve never even gone to school. I’ve heard of lots of people begging to be homeschooled because of bullying or just hating school, but most parents don’t just pull their kids from school and homeschool them just because of jerks.
Q. Are there really different accents in different US states?
A. Yes! In the south, people say ”y’all”, and in Boston people pronounce ‘er’ as ‘ah’ (chowder vs chowdah).
Q. Do most people have blond hair in America?
A. Actually, brunette is more common. A lot of brunettes dye their hair blonde, which could contribute to the stereotype, and then there’s Barbie dolls, so that might be it. But for the record, I’m blonde, haha.
Q. Do all youtubers really live in America
A. Um, no, I’m pretty sure Youtubers live all over the world. Exhibit A: Agoverseasfan. Boom.
Q. Does everyone really hate Donald Trump?
A. Oh, dear me, no. I certainly don’t, it’s really just the media who wants his head on a platter. Really, he only got elected because he was a  billion times better than Hillary Clinton, who would have killed the country a billion different ways, and is also a complete crook. So…yeah, no.
Haha, so clearly, Bayance’s got some warped views of Americans…go check out my probably even more warped views of Canadians in her post.
Thanks for reading, guys!
Favorite stereotype? Thoughts on Kinder Surprise Eggs?
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