*Hey guys, hi. This was a post I wrote several months ago that I dug out of my drafts folder. You all seem to enjoy my humorous posts, so here you go. Also, for anyone wondering, yes, this all actually happened.*
Dear People At My Dance Studio (you know who you are)
We’ve been in a social war. And you, ringleader, started it. Don’t try to argue and tell me that it wasn’t, and that it was in fact me who started it that fateful day when I mentioned that I thought Batman was cooler than Ironman. You recoiled in so much overblown teenage-girl horror that anyone watching from a distance probably thought I insulted your mother.
Raise your hand if life right now feels like trying to juggle flaming bowling balls while walking on a tightrope and singing opera.
Ironically, it’s when life is at its weirdest and most overwhelming that I suddenly want to blog again. I miss taking pictures and writing and answering comments. I miss the thrill of hitting ‘publish’.
Then why haven’t I just started posting again?
Because to be perfectly honest I don’t even know what I blog about anymore. I’m not sure I ever really knew, but somehow it’s only become an issue now.
I love fall. I realize I’m about to inadvertently ally myself with scores of other teenage girls online who are all collectively shouting ”I LOVE FALL!!!”, so let me set myself apart with a few disclaimers. Sweaters are not my thing, I don’t like pumpkin spice (sorry), cute boots are virtually impossible to find in wide width, and aesthetics puzzle me (someone explain to me how they work? and what their purpose is?)
I’m attempting to come back full-force to the blogiverse, since I really do miss saying ridiculous things online, and miss all my friends here even more. I thought the easiest way to start would be with a somewhat disorganized but at least somewhat entertaining rundown of all the things I’ve been doing. You’re welcome.
In a fit of boredom-induced marketing zeal, last week I actually styled my hair (as opposed to my usual, ‘it-is-what-it-is-and-today-its-a-dumpster-fire’ approach, i.e. just not doing anything), put scrunchies in, and took some promotional photos for my Etsy shop. I’m not sure exactly what I’m going to use them for, but they did come out looking pretty okay by my standards.
*Edit: I am now offering a 30% discount on anything in my shop for bloggers and YouTubers wanting to do a sponsored post and/or giveaway*
Hey there, people!
It’s been a while since I’ve posted, but instead of doing a long ‘sorry-I’ve-been-gone-I-promise-to-do-better-which-in-reality-means-pretty-darn-much-nothing’ post, I bring you something better (I hope).
I’m launching an Etsy shop! The obvious questions:
Why on Earth are you starting an Etsy shop?
You see, at the age of 14.5 I have set my heart on a 1983 white C4 Corvette with a red racing stripe and a 383 engine (any The A-Team fans here will catch my drift). Corvettes, unfortunately, do not buy themselves. Hence, I’m selling scrunchies. Also because it’s summer, I’m bored, and it keeps me out of trouble (ask me about my adventures in prank texting).
What’s so special about YOUR scrunchie shop?
Well if I’m being self-deprecating, not much. If I’m being a half-decent marketing advocate, most scrunchies are priced almost ridiculously high (I’m not paying $7 for a hair tie, even if it’s locally sourced cotton taken with permission from the happy cotton plants and then lovingly hand sewed by fairies into a scrunchie. Sorry). My scrunchies are priced at $2.50 each-even less if you buy a set- with free shipping. Now you have to admit that that’s at least a little less run of the mill (oh also they’re fruit themed. Just saying).
Tell me more about the free scrunchies in the title up there.
Yes, that. Not clickbait, because clickbait is a terrible thing done by terrible human beings. You can indeed get free scrunchies! When starting a new Etsy shop, one of the things you need to do is advertise. And what better way to advertise than to sponsor some posts on the blogiverse? I’d love to send you some scrunchies (some to keep and some to give away) in exchange for a review on your blog!
Interested? Shoot me an email using this exceedingly handy little form (make sure you include your site address, please)
Note, if you’re in the WP reader, you may not see the form and need to go to the actual site. A few people were having link issues with the form, so if it doesn’t work, feel free to email me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org
Perhaps this isn’t where most people’s minds go when everything they had planned for two weeks is cancelled and the government mandates their state to self-quarantine, but when all the COVID-19 insanity reached a fever pitch, my first thought was ‘great! I’m going to cut up a shirt!’