So I’m Not Dead, And I Have This New Cat

Greetings and salutations, readers!

This is Humphrey.

He likes boxes (especially my brother’s typewriter box) and sleeping smack in the middle of my pillows like clockwork at 10 pm.

He’s insistent that he is Lord and Majesty of all the cats in my house although let’s face it, Fabian is still Alpha cat around here.

Lots of people have told me he looks like Grumpy Cat Jr, but he’s actually one of the chilliest, snuggliest cats I’ve ever known.

There’s a long and involved story surrounding how I got him, which will probably bore you all to tears, (it’s also the story of how I had an emotional breakdown in the animal shelter, which I’m not about to tell the internet just yet) so I’ll skip it for now.

In a nutshell, I met a squoosh-faced cat at my local animal shelter, and six days later I got Humphrey. And @phoenixphaedrana was there to capture the moment I scooped him up and kissed his fudging adorable kitty nose for the first time. (thanks, friendo!)

I call him by pretty much every pet name in the book, and all the ones that are not in said book. My mom calls him the ‘pity kitty’ because she only let me get him because I was having such an awful month. Now she loves him almost as much as I do, so clearly I have good taste in kitties.

If you want to see more of Humphrey, I made him an Instagram after three different people at the vet’s office asked if he had one. This cat apparently is made for stardom. He’s @snorfalopagus

I apologize that this post isn’t very long. I mostly wanted to post kitty pictures. Do you guys have any post requests? Comment them down below or shoot me an email and I’ll definitely do them!

love you to bits, Humphrey

What have you been up to? Thoughts on cats?

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#Dancerproblems//Diary Of A Daydreamer Blog Tour

Greetings and salutations!

Did I ever tell you I’m a dancer?

I did? Really? Well, did I ever tell you that Emmie is a dancer, too? And that she’s launching her very own personal blog this week?

Enter Diary Of A Daydreamer!

(first of all, let’s take a moment of silence to appreciate the gorgeousness of this header)

At Diary of a Daydreamer, Emmie shares her ideas, stories, tips, tutorials, lifestyle, songs, creations, and daydreams. On this blog, every Saturday you’ll find posts about blogging, dance, fashion, music, lifestyle, writing, and art! 

(who’s excited for Saturdays?!)

Personally, I get happy, excited vibes from just looking at all her beautiful featured images. They all have ballerinas and pointe shoes! what’s not to like?

Which brings us back to my original topic-dancing!

One of my favorite posts that I do on TTC are my #bloggerproblems posts. It’s about time for another one, but today, instead of #bloggerproblems, it’s #dancerproblems!

Any other dancers out there relate?

Oh, and before you go, make sure to check out Emmie’s fabulous giveaway!

Enter here!

And head on over to her fabulous shiny-new blog!

https://diaryofadaydreamerblog.home.blog

Go give her some love!

*special thank you to Emmie for inviting me to be a part of this! I’m so honored to be your internet friend and nutjob :)*

Loser With A Dream

Ever have your dreams crushed?

Fun, right?

Let me explain.

A few weeks ago, I auditioned for the ballet company I’ve been trying to get into for three years.

I honestly thought I had a decent shot this year.

Maybe I did, but a chance is still a chance, and when results came out, I got a rejection letter.

…But it was all a mistake, and they meant to send me an acceptance letter and a note saying that I was the greatest dancer they’d ever seen and they were retroactively giving me every solo and pas du deux role they had for all future shows.

I’m kidding, of course. I got a rejection letter and nothing else, then spent three hours in my tree house crying.

And that wasn’t even the worst of it.

Then I found out that two of the girls from what I have privately dubbed “the unholy trio of extreme social jerkishness” got in.

Which will increase their jerkishness gosh-knows-how-many-times.

My friend Tara didn’t get in either. Even though she’s the kind of person who takes things in a stride, before class on Wednesday instead of chatting like we usually do, we just sat in mutual silence, both of us wondering how on earth Sophie and Gina got in and we didn’t. Finally, Tara said, “I sort of feel like a loser.”

I knotted my ribbons slightly tighter than was probably necessary. “That’s okay, we’re losers with a dream!

(Tara just laughed, since she’s used to my insanity)

It was probably not what most people would have said. But this, friends, is what happens to my sense of humor when my dreams get crushed two years in a row. (There was also the matter of the cat, but that’s a story for another day)

If I’m a loser

And I don’t feel ashamed

Life goes on; and if I’m wrong

I guess I’ll burn in flames

~Pocket Full Of Gold//American Authors

So at the moment, I can unabashedly say that last week sucked like a Dyson Vacuum Cleaner. (One of those crazily suction enhanced ones)

But you know what? Just because my circumstances suck doesn’t mean I’m going to let life suck. No, I didn’t get into company. Yes, I’m a loser. But I’m a loser with a dream. And I’m going use everything to my advantage. Life goes on, and as long as I’m breathing and have all my limbs, I’ll be dancing.

Unless the moon explodes

And the sun grows cold

Life will always

It always goes on

~Pocket Full Of Gold//American Authors

Not that’s it’s going to be at all easy. But the amount of support I’ve received after not getting in has helped so much. My entire family tiptoed around me for two days, my little brother trekked through the woods to find my lost ear buds, my mom got me new t-shirts, and my older brother watched my favorite show with me. My friends have been amazing too, especially considering I’ve been a depressed lump last week. Phoenix-Phaedrana sent me freaking adorable cat pictures, my friend Nina made me laugh by just being the wonderful, sweet person she is, and Bayance, who didn’t even know anything was wrong, left me her signature hilarious and apt comments which helped so much.

And hey, not being in company means I can audition for other shows in the area, including a really cool one called Swan Song featuring soul-selling choreographers and tons of dancer jokes. And it means I have extra time to do private pointe lessons.

It’s not what I planned on or fantasized about. But this is plan B, and like Hannibal Smith perpetually says in The A-Team, “I love it when a plan comes together.”

(Never mind that something almost always explodes or goes awry thirty seconds after he says that line)

I had hoped to be learning things like demi-solos and pointe variations this year. Instead, I’m learning different skills, like overcoming obstacles, initiating a plan B, and some serious acting as I stalwartly refuse to let the jerks get to me.

(Also, horror movie screaming. I’ve been screaming into my pillow a lot, but even my angriest screams sound like those terrified ones in misogynistic horror movies where someone just saw a bloody knife. Not a skill I ever thought I’d want or have, but I’ll take what I can get.)

Bottom line? Life isn’t perfect, but it does have the redeeming feature of going on (most of the time).

Throughout this year, I’m going to be auditioning for shows outside of my dance schools, so I’ll make sure to give you updates every now and then.

This year isn’t going to be all terrible, because I have declared and decided so. And that’s half the battle. (Okay, probably close to 35%)

Stay determined, guys. Or just stay in denial, that works too.

Favorite quote for when life is less than ideal?

Optimism Award (created by Bayance)

Hey, there!

My bestest blogging friend Bayance nominated me for her Optimism Award! Definitely go check her blog out, she’s one of the nicest, funniest, and interesting people I know.

Rules

  1. List three things you’re most grateful for. (if you get tagged again, you can add 3 more or think of your own three things question or just ignore the first rule for your second time)
  2. Answer the 7 questions given to you from the previous nominee.
  3. Ask 7 new questions (or use some of mine) for your new nominees.
  4. Tag 3-7 bloggers that made a positive difference and state why beside their name (it can be one thing you like about their blog)
  5. Congratulations and enjoy unlimited positivity from all of us!

I’m grateful for:

  • My family/friends
  • Ballet
  • My cats (because we all know where my loyalties lie)
Please ignore the fact that he’s sitting next to a gas can, he was just unbearably cute.

Bayance’s 7 Questions

What was the best year of your life and why?

Oh, that’s hard! Every year is different, but I think I’d have to say the year I was nine. That year, I met so many awesome friends (two of which are still my best friends). Nine was just so fun naïve and exciting, and the world was my oyster.

What was the biggest problem you faced and how did you overcome it?

WHY ARE THESE SO HARD OMG I feel so totally like a drama queen saying this, but about this time two years ago, I was really discouraged with dance and came *this* close to quitting. Obviously I didn’t, and nine months later I got pointe shoes. Stick with stuff, kids, you never know what might happen!

What’s your favorite fast food restaurant?

Chick-Fil-A! Can I just rant for a second on how amazing they are? First, the food is awesome, and not actually terrible for you. Second, all the employees are so nice, and even though CFA is a huge corporation they support great causes and absolutely nothing objectionable. Third, did you know that all the CFA registers have a hidden ‘override price’ button so that cashiers can give, say, a veteran a free milkshake? How amazing is that?

If you could have one thought pop into people’s head when they first meet you, what would it be? (essentially what first impression would you like to give off)

”This person is funny and friendly, just don’t call her ‘Nat’.” (I hate it when people, especially people who barely know me, just start addressing me as ‘Nat’. It’s a stupid nickname that rhymes with a lot of unflattering words, so don’t do it, because it makes me instantly dislike you)


If everything in the world was one colour what would you want it to be? (it could be different shades)

I love all colors, but if everything was blue, that would be so pretty, and there are so many shades of blue, from turquoise, to cerulean, to that robin’s egg color.

What’s the most scandalous/terrible thing you did as a child?

One Halloween when I was probably 7 or 8, there was this one house that was giving out really good candy, like king-size Hershey bars and the like. My friend told me she bet I couldn’t get three king-size bars in the entire night, so I hit that house three times. The first go-round, I joined a horde of trick-or-treaters, and so the person handing out candy didn’t pay very close attention. The next time, I went by myself. ”You look familiar…” the person said, and I just grinned. (I was an 8 year old in a witch hat and tutu, I had cuteness down). The third time, I took my hair out of the ponytail it had been in and tied the orange ribbon that had been in it around my hat. The person was like, ”wait, weren’t you already here?” and I said, ”Oh, that must have been my twin sister.”
…The person totally believed me! I still cringe when I think about it, lol. And if it ever turns out that I have a long lost twin…I owe her some candy.

What’s your favourite thing about yourself?

Almost exactly my color, but not my eye. All that mascara would have me crying it into my contacts.

My gray eyes. I recently learned that only 2% of the population has them, so apparently I’m special, lol. Unfortunately, wearing contacts makes them look blue, but ah well. Oh, and possibly that fact that I have flexible hips and ankles, and I never, ever get blisters on pointe.

I nominate….

Morgan Mcartie-You are just the sweetest person, and one of my best blogging friends. I love, love, love being your pen pal. I’m so excited for your new personal blog!

Emmie-you are so happy and upbeat all the time, and your blog posts always make me smile. I’m so lucky to be your friend, and one day we’ve got to meet up and jump on a trampoline somewhere.

Diamond-You, your blog, and your awesome comments never fail to make my day. I always get so excited when I see a new post in my email!

Phoenix-Phaedrana-YOU DRAW SUCH ADORABLE THINGS ASDFGHJKL. Thanks for dragging me into the Undertale fandom with you and always being willing to hear me rant my heart out about life, the universe, and everything.

Questions For Nominees:

  1. What’s one odd or unusual talent you have?
  2. What’s your go-to stress reliever?
  3. What’s one thing that never fails to make you happy?
  4. If you had three wishes, what would you wish for? (wishing for more wishes is out)
  5. What’s the most scandalous/terrible thing you did as a child?
  6. If you were offered the ability to read minds, would you take it?
  7. Cats or dogs? Why?

Thanks again to Bayance for nominating me! This is definitely one of my favorite tags I’ve done. (not too long or complicated, but definitely fun).

What’s one thing that always makes you happy? Any post requests?

Floofballs, Pigtails, and Cadbury Creme

Look, I’m still alive over here!

*shocked gasps*

*cheers and applause*

*expectant stares*

Oh, right, I actually have to make this interesting. Well then, I shall tell you about the dog.

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This is Noah, and he belongs to the most annoying human on planet Earth, who also happens to be a good friend of mine.
Joe is in my co-op classes, and his mom also happens to teach us (ironically, she is one of the nicest humans on planet Earth). So when she casually mentioned that they needed a dogsitter in the same room my canine-obsessed little brother was in, somehow we ended up saying ‘yes’ to having a dog over Easter break. 

Of course it had to be Easter break we had a dog who follows you everywhere. Noah made it significantly harder to take Easter photos for my doll blog.

But in spite of freaking out and having to carefully guard my mini chocolate eggs from a very curious doggo, I did manage to get cute pictures of what I dubbed The Cadbury Crème Chorus Line.

To be honest, I like Noah more than the Golden Retriever we borrowed in January. If only because daaaaang this dog is cute. Just ask Phoenix-Phaedrana;

Treacherous human.

However, my cats are not quite so big on the dog. They tolerate him, mostly by going and hiding. And in Apollo’s case, he goes and hides on top of the fridge and glares at me. He also got mad when he found Noah asleep on his special spot on my bed, so he begrudgingly walked over to my sister’s bed and started kneading on her plush unicorn. Phoenix and I thought this was too cute.

Speaking of texting, I realized this morning that Phoenix and I had logged over 300 messages in two months. We talk a lot. Especially since I tend to text her things like this;

In case you’re wondering, yes, I did wear my hair in pigtails that day.

That was also the day my hair was insanely curly and I had to restrain it somehow. But actually parting it down the middle was out, so the back was artfully messy. (and by that, I mean it was just messy. not artfully so)

It also somehow got tangled in my DIY oak leaf necklace, so that took a good bit of my patience to untangle the tiny chain from my rampant curls.

The necklace survived, however. Pretty good for $2 worth of wire and chain. I recently discovered how much fun jewelry making is, so now my friend has one of these, and wears it every day, which makes me so happy. My mom suggested to me that I make friendship bracelets, and because I had wire and extra time yesterday, I did.

But because regular friendship bracelets are boring and somewhat uncomfortable, I made three of these for Phoenix, my friend Joy, and myself.

Tell me these aren’t cooler than knotted embroidery floss! Anyone want a tutorial?

That pretty much sums up what I’ve been up to these past few weeks. I’m hoping to get back on track posting (like that’s happening), but it may not happen until mid-May when school lets out.

Anything interesting happen while I was gone? Fill me in!

Blogger Problems #5

Blogger Problems

Greetings!

It’s been a while since I’ve posted Blogger Problems, hasn’t it? Probably because I’ve been fading in and out of the blogiverse. Remind me to make a Blogger Problems about that.

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This is me. Every. Fudging*. Time. Any questions as to why I disappeared?

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When designing your site, EVERYTHING can go wrong, and usually does. Your clipart isn’t transparent, your graphic design software freezes, your theme is deleted, and even if you manage to get everything up and looking good, someone goes and plagiarizes your design. This has happened to me once or twice, and it’s the worst.

What are some recent Blogger Problems you’ve been having? 

lQTi3dvT

 

*That was for you, PhoenixPhaedrana**! 

**For those who are curious as to what on earth I’m talking about, PhoenixPhaedrana and I are both nuts and talk to each other so often that we have our own slang dialect, complete with swearing-but-not-swear-words. ‘Fudging’ is one of them. Now go check her blogs out.

 

In Which I Talk About Valentine’s Day

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Why, look, it’s Chocolate Sale At Walgreen’s Eve!

Before I start waxing satirically philosophical and making fun of Valentine’s Day, a disclaimer; I don’t know much about the romantic side of the holiday. And by ‘not much’ I mean absolutely nothing. I’m 13, guys, and all my romantic passion has been poured out upon fictional characters and cats. You have been disclaimed. (I have been disclaimed? What does the verb ”disclaim” modify?  This is way too complicated, please ignore me).

Now, according to Wikipedia (which has the answer to all questions, except the one pertaining to Life, The Universe and Everything, and that’s common knowledge), Valentine’s Day began as the celebration of the feast day of an early saint who was named, of course, Valentine.

Screenshot_2019-02-14 Valentine's Day - Wikipedia

Time wore on, and the rest of the world decided this was an ideal time to sabotage people’s New Year’s resolutions and send the chocolates, plus exacerbate their pollen allergies and send them flowers, all in the name of love. And Bing Crosby produced an album of what I hear is terrible music.

Okay, maybe it wasn’t exactly like that….

Nowadays, Valentine’s Day is great if you’re in a that perfect [read: fairytale/nonexistent] romantic relationship.

There’s a dancer meme that circulates every February that I always snicker at.

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Although it’s partially to make myself feel better about my pathetic singles and very rare doubles. And I stumble out of them a lot. It’s really not pretty.

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Isn’t it horrible?

Otherwise…well, do you like mass-produced flavorless candy with cheesy abbreviated messages and horribly GIMP’d heart shaped images of kittens that disgrace the feline race?

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No? Huh, go figure.

  • 144 million Valentines are manufactured and sold in the U.S. alone, according to Hallmark.
  • According to a National Retail Federation Survey, Americans spent $18.2 billion on Valentine’s paraphernalia in 2017.
  • 3% of pet owners purchase valentines for their pets every year (…don’t ask).
  • And yet, 3 in 10 Americans say they skip Valentine’s Day.

And, of course I hear Valentine’s Day can be downright excruciating if you’re single, so some lovely, caring soul created Single Awareness Day, to be celebrated (wallowed in?) on February 14th.

Yeah, I thought that was somewhere between slightly odd and completely ridiculous.

If you’d rather not celebrate Valentine’s Day, but still want an excuse to celebrate something, not to worry, you have options!

  • National Ferris Wheel Day-But depending on your fear of heights, it might make you just as nauseous as reading a cheesy card.
  • National Library Lovers Day-You can go sit in the library with a book, and maybe even fall in love with another fictional character who will probably break your heart and/or die! (Wait, why was I so cheerful…?) Or give chocolates to your favorite librarian.
  • National Cream-Filled Chocolates Day-need I say anything? Chocolate, guys.

Or wait until the 15th and celebrate Unofficial National Chocolate Sale Day. (One day, it will become official, I’m telling you guys).

So even if you have a terrible 14th, the 15th has discount chocolate, and what’s better than that?

I leave you with that semi-encouraging thought. And a picture of my cat.

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Favorite kind of chocolate? Red or pink?

lQTi3dvT

 

 

O N E Y E A R | M Y B I R T H D A Y

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Why, hello, dear readers!

It feels strange to think that I’ve been typing that phrase almost every week for a year.

Then again, my poor little brain is also having difficulty with the fact that I’m now thirteen years old. Like, woah.

There’s two parts to this post, because today is a double celebration, which means double the party and double the cake.

Part One//My Birthday

Let me just be completely unreserved for a second;

HOW THE MONKEY FRITTERS AM I THIRTEEN?

Heck, if you think about it, it’s a wonder I’m still alive. From all the stupid, crazy, and dangerous things I did when I was younger (riding down a steep hill in a rusty wagon, anybody?), it’s a bit of a statistical miracle I didn’t end up with a traumatic brain injury or something.

My wry morbidity aside, yesterday was great. Fabulous. Wonderful. Fantastic, Grand, Marvelous, Terrific, Tremendous, Wondrous. Take your linguistic pick.

I baked a cake (and yelled at anyone who dared set foot in the kitchen), went shopping with my mom, walked the dog (don’t get excited, we’re dogsitting), got my hair cut (I have bangs now!), showed off my pastry expertise (if you can call binge-watching Tasty videos ‘expertise’), and then called my cousin and laughed about video games and song lyrics.

I chose not to have a party because a) A good chunk of my friends live hundreds or thousands of miles away, and b) I don’t like being the center of attention. Seriously, when my family sang ”happy birthday” to me at dinner, I just wanted to go all Opal Koboi and yell, ”’Don’t look at me, it’s bad for my skin!!”.

But, y’know, cake was next, and I wasn’t about to miss that.

Ah, yes, the cake! It was chocolate-chocolate fudge, with vanilla icing decorations.

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Yep, I made those flowers, and they were delicious.

As I piped the flowers, I realized I was singing a snippet of a song without even thinking about it. I smiled when I heard the words.

I’d rather pick flowers
Instead of fights
And rather than flaunt my style, I’d flash you a smile
Of clean pearly whites

It’s some Owl City song I like, I don’t remember which.It fit the moment perfectly, though!

As for gifts, I received an a-m-a-z-i-n-g new Nikon camera as a joint Christmas/Birthday present, and that’s what I took the pictures with. My mom also surprised me with the fabulous jacket I’d been eyeing at Old Navy, plus a shopping trip there. (I got some new tops and the COOLEST shoes) And of course, bangs, which I’m SO pleased with, and (the best part) they hide most of my skin problems (See, I told you looking at me was bad for my skin).

Yep, it was an awesome day, especially because I got so many incredibly sweet birthday wishes from so many people. My lovely IRL friend Joy sent me a birthday text, Bayance left me the best-ever birthday comment that literally made me choke up, and both my Grandmas sent me emails and cards.

I’ve decided that thirteen is pretty great, guys.


Part 2//Blogiversary

Onto the second and slightly more relevant part, TTC’s first blogiversary!

And now, it’s story time, so gather ’round, and I’ll tell you the previously untold tale of how Taking the Cake became an actual reality.

When I launched TTC, it was after planning and tweaking. The idea had floated through my head for a while, but it only really ‘stuck’, so to speak, during a long, late ballet class, during my least favorite combination (I really hate rond de jambes, guys).  Of course, the first thing I had to figure out was a name. However, because it was 7:53 (yep, I clearly remember what time it was), half my brain was focused on my rond de jambe en l’air, all I could come up with was….wait for it…..

Mugfuls of Mayonnaise.

I can see you all staring at those words and reevaluating whether or not you think Natalie is actually sane.

Fortunately, the smarter part of me realized that a name like that is about as unappetizing as you can get, so I frittered the idea away for another time.

Then a few days later, sitting on the couch, the perfect name came to me; Taking the Cake.

Don’t ask where I got the idea. I just remember that eureka moment on the couch. Which was also when I decided I’d release it on my birthday, only a a week away.

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The very first header for TTC

Due to an unplanned rescheduling because of  a snowstorm, I was in Philadelphia when TTC went live. I woke up in the hotel, and my mom came in and said ”Happy birthday!”
I blinked. ”Birthday? Who’s birthday-Oh, right, mine!”

Yep, I was so excited about TTC that I actually forgot my own birthday. No joke, people.

The hotel had a pool, and I remember smiling ear to ear with my hair dripping wet because of all the insanely sweet comments people left.

Seriously, getting birthday wishes from people across the country and world takes your day to a whole new level. On TTC’s first 24 hours on the internet, I hit 25 followers…how flipping amazing is that?

And now for stats:

3,258 Views

1,029 Visitors

829 Likes

740 Comments

Most Popular Day: Monday

Most Popular Time: 11 pm

Top Commenter: AGsInAlaska

 

WARNING: ABOUT TO GET SAPPY. TISSUES ARE RECOMMENDED

I owe every single one of you a huge thank-you. This blog has meant so much to me since the day I started it, and you are the ones who made it a reality. It’s so amazing to be able to have a place to talk about life, the universe, and everything, plus have amazing supportive friends to support you.

It’s been an amazing year. I started TTC, had my lifelong dream come true (POINTE SHOES!), got a new cat, and a new fictional obsession. You guys patiently listened to me ramble on about shank sizing and the blue eyed Irish geniuses, and didn’t brush me off as nuts.

This year certainly hasn’t been all fun and games, though. And you were there through it all, listening to me lament about dance drama and blue-eyed Irish geniuses. And you were so funny and supportive and amazing, just asdfghjkl.

So thank you. From the bottom of my heart.

Sappiness is now over. We now resume normal emotive states.

Part 3//Giveaway!

Haha, tricked you all! I made you think that sappiness and cake photos were all I was doing! Nothing could be farther from the truth.

Well,  okay, I guess declaring that red is now green and pine trees now sing opera is farther from the truth, but at any rate….

I really wanted to do a giveaway, but I wasn’t sure what to give away. I have so many different people with so many different interests reading my blog that nothing seemed like it would appeal to everyone.

Until I realized that everyone likes candy!

At least, the vast, vast majority of people like copious amounts sugar, so I figured it was a safe bet.

So, how would YOU like to win a mystery box full of 1.57 pounds of delicious, all-natural candy?

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I’m giving away this lovely plastic box. Aren’t you just jumping up and down with excitement?

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I forgot to mention that there’s stuff inside. My bad! Inside is some pretty blue tissue paper and 1.57 lbs. of awesome, high-quality candy. (selected by yours truly)

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The box includes a bag of caramel truffle hearts and brownie fudge squares….

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A bag of the longest sour gummy snakes I’ve ever seen (7.5 inches, guys, I measured)

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A bag of cherry vanilla gummies and candy eggs…

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A bag of strawberry gummies (and these are the best strawberry gummies you’ll ever taste. As in, they taste like real strawberries) and jellybeans…

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A bag of mint chocolate malt disks…..

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A bag of crispy chocolate drops….

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And last, but not least, a milk chocolate bar! Now, for any of you who are gawking because it’s from IKEA, let me tell you that IKEA has amazing chocolate bars, along with flat-packed furniture. So trust me here.

Would you care to enter? Just fill out the form below!

{Note: For some reason the form doesn’t show up in the reader, so you may have to go to my actual site to enter}

The deadline to enter is January 17th, and the winner will be announced on the 18th.

Thank you again for an amazing year, and here’s to many more (btw, spoiler alert-I’m not ever leaving the blogiverse  because Bayance threatened to steal all my AF books, and I need those for relative sanity so…)

Cheers, cupcakes!

lQTi3dvT

My Completely Unrealistic Birthday Wishlist 2019

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Hello there, readers!

So tomorrow I turn 13. Which according to Wikipedia, is a natural number occurring between 12 and 14.

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I’m pretty sure you all knew that, so instead of writing a research paper on the number 13, I decided I’d do something else as not to force you guys to chew your own knees off with boredom.

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People keep asking me what I want for my birthday, but honestly, there aren’t a whole lot of material things I want. New pointe shoes because my current ones are dying, character shoes because I need them for the mazurka dance we’re doing, maybe some more cats…

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If anyone wants to give me a birthday present, give me this

The thing is, there are plenty of intangible things I want. A whole list, actually. And because I know that’s more interesting than rambling on about Triskaidekaphobia (fear of the number 13) and in case any of you happen to be interdimensional beings capable of powers perceived by normal humans as magic (if any of you are, please grant at least one of my wishes and make me incredibly happy) here’s the complete list:

  1. The ability to nail single and double pirouettes every time, in addition to a perfect extension.
  2.  For every one of those stupid rainbow pride flags to be obliterated from the Earth, and for everyone who supports that cause to come to their senses and/or cease and desist.
  3.  To actually look good in a leotard and tights
  4. For some terrible misfortune to befall the production of the Artemis Fowl movie such that causes it to be scrapped (said misfortune must be irreversible in order to leave no chance of the movie being made again)
  5.  For Minnie Mouse to be erased from the history of the world and henceforth made illegal
  6.  For my friend Joy to spontaneously move in right next to me so we can hang out every day
  7.  Ditto the above with my cousin
  8.  For my cats to suddenly gain the ability to speak English and/or walk on their hind legs like Bucky and Satchel
  9. To have long, thick, straight hair that goes easily into a bun
  10.  To run into a certain dark-haired, blue-eyed Irish boy named Artemis, and a certain sarcastic redheaded elf
  11. For all the incredibly stupid drama at dance to cease and desist, and for everyone who participated in it to be thoroughly ashamed.
  12.  For several more siblings, and for the Russian Adoption Ban to be lifted
  13.  Oh yeah, and peace and goodwill to all mankind.

Make sure to check back tomorrow for my whole blogiversary/birthday shebang, including me being annoyingly sappy and numerous cake photos.

Most unrealistic thing you want currently?

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6 Words I Always Have To Add To My Phone

6 Words I Always Have To Add To My Phone.png

Hello, lovely readers! Are you excited for Christmas? Yes? Great, you don’t need any help feeling festive. No? Also great, this post is completely free of holiday whatot.

I got a new phone last week, and after setting it up, texting my friends celebratory cat gifs, (shoutout to you, Joy!) and installing all my old apps, I realized there was one problem-this phone didn’t recognize a lot of the words I use.

For example, according to my new Motorola G4,  ‘fortytwoish’ is not a word.

”Well, it isn’t a word, Natalie, keep your pants on,” you say.

Excuse you, to paraphrase my dear fictional friend Bucky Katt, my talking websterizes wordage automatically.

”Now you’re not even speaking English!” you protest. ”Honestly, Natalie, did you hit your head? Really hard?”

Actually, yes, I did hit my head yesterday chasing after a two year old, but that is completely unrelated. What I said was that if I can say a word, it’s therefore a word and I should be able to use it in my texts. So there.

Obviously, I sat down and spent the next hour adding a rather long list of words that I personally invented. Here they are, and the story behind each one.


‘Fortytwoish’

As you all learned in this post, I’m a Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy junkie, and along with lollipops, the number 5, and printables, I’m obsessed with the number 42. This particular incarnation of the number was first used when I had this conversation with my brother:

iphone-M33n

Now every time I type in ”f-o-r….” it suggests ‘fortytwoish’.  (and if you think I was being jerkish [see farther below], he had already eaten two bags of said M&Ms, and I wasn’t about to make it three)

‘LEPRecon’

Of course, my phone must recognize this. It stands for Lower Elements Police Reconnaissance, and if I must tell you, it’s from Artemis Fowl. Knowing me, you should have known that…

‘FuzzyTuzzBo/BuzzySchmuzzBa/TuzzyWuzzBo’

These are my pet names (no pun intended) for my cats. To get the full effect, you have to hear me loudly whisper them to my cat while petting them and mangling my grammar for effect. But recordings eat up storage, so a typical text conversation featuring felines goes like this;

kittytext.pngBecause as is clearly visible above, I have zero control when it comes to my cats.

‘FanFic/FanFiction’

I’m pretty sure my phone would accept ‘Fan Fiction’, as two separate words, but because I like smushing words together and capitalizing at weird intervals, I write it like that and my phone has been forced to accept it.

‘Freddled Gruntbuggly/Micturations/Plurdled Gabbleblotchis/Gobberwarts/Blurglecruncheon/Foonting Turlingdromes’

You probably saw that and thought I had gone completely nuts. I assure you, I haven’t. The above nonsensical arrangements of syllables are part of only the worst poetry in the galaxy, and the third worst in the universe….Vogon Poetry!

*crickets*

….From the Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy. Which I frequently text my brother when I have nothing better to do or when he’s not replying.

iphone-jD4nI do this quite a lot, actually….

‘Bloggage’

I like improving (mangling?) words by adding ‘-age’ to the end of the infinitive and using them that way with questionable grammar. For example;

iphone-LD4n.png
Other words I’ve improved (mangled); Jerk=jerkish/jerkishly. Food=foodage/foodishly. Fuzz=fuzzage/fuzzish.

Yes, I’m aware of the fact you all think I’m completely insane now.

Favorite invented word? Words your phone never recognizes?

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